Well it’s been a good week so far. I gave my talk on Tuesday and I think it went well; I don’t believe anyone fell asleep while I ran my mouth for an hour. The pressure was on too; the woman who brought me in to speak introduced me as “laugh out loud funny” and told another group it was like coming to see a stand-up comedian. I tried to punch everything up even more after that. Sometimes when the audience forgot to notice how funny I am I just gave them a gentle reminder, “That was funny. You can laugh now” and they were remarkably compliant.
Yesterday morning was annual mammogram time, and I aced it!! I take a very nice picture if I do say so myself, but no worries, I’m not going to post the images here. It was sort of interesting though; you may recall that I had to have another biopsy last May, which happily came back negative. When they did the biopsy they injected a small metal clip in the area they were worried about, which helps when they’re looking for any changes. After they inserted the clip they took more mammogram photos and confirmed the clip was properly placed.
But yesterday…no clip. No clip anywhere to be found. The tech took lots more pics trying to find the damn thing, but no such luck. The radiologist checked the film and was pleased with how everything looked, but at a complete loss as to what happened to the clip. In fact, she asked me in a somewhat accusatory manner if I knew what happened to it. As if. So to review, I had a piece of metal hanging out in my breast, and it just up and left. Gone, ciao, b’bye.
Many of you know that when I was undergoing cancer treatment I had a little mishap with a tissue expander and ended up sporting a side/armpit boob for about 6 months. The bottom line is that my right breast seems to aggressively displace any foreign object. Who knows, in another few years I might have a whole lost and found…or just lost…attributable to my right breast.
Coincidentally, and I swear that neither I nor any of my body parts are responsible, the cats have put one of our car keys in a black hole somewhere in the Cat Dimension. We have looked everywhere-under the appliances, under all the furniture, inside all the cat condos, under the rugs, everywhere. That key is simply gone. Not too long ago an entire package of fuzzy white mice disappeared. Every last mouse, gone, gone, gone. It got me thinking, maybe the cats have something to do with my missing clip? I don’t like to point fingers, but, it certainly begs the question.
This car key thing really escalates the situation because now I’m worried that they’re going to sneak out of the house at night and go hot rodding…
and we all know that will not end well…
Someday, many years from now, an archaeologist is going to uncover 15 fuzzy mice, one Subaru key, and a small metal clip, and try to make sense of how the objects fit together. Damn I wish I was going to be around to laugh at them.