Yom Kippur

I’m back, after 24 hours of Yom Kippur, or Day of Atonement.  You might be wondering what I have possibly done that requires atonement.  Well, a lot of years I don’t make it through the whole actual fast.  Sometimes I have a bagel a little earlier in the afternoon than I should, unless the sun is setting at 3:00 these days.  I’m not proud of it, but on the other hand, what day of the year is the best possible day to break the rules?  Yom Kippur, obviously.  Let’s say I eat a bagel at 3:00; I still have hours left to atone for eating the bagel while I contemplate dinner.  There’s still room for me to be inscribed in the Book of Life.  Pretty awesome, huh?

Let’s see, I also needed to atone for not always being the sweetest wife I could possibly be.  Just a little atoning should cover that.  I guess eavesdropping and butting into conversations isn’t the nicest thing in the world—but is it offset by the comedy material it yields? I would ask the same question about making fun of my mom (who admittedly is a very good sport).

I’m not quite sure about other things.  Does my love of chocolate and deep fried foods amount to gluttony?  Probably.  I definitely covet shoes, clothes, “good” hair.  Every now and again I wander on to Facebook, is there a category for that?  I feel like there should be something that covers social media.

I wonder if motives matter.  For example, I wish exceedingly good health for all of the firm’s employees so that they can feel great and drag their butts to work.  I adore everyone in my current firm of course, but in the past I’ve prayed for someone I didn’t completely love to win the lottery so they wouldn’t have to work anymore.  I know that it might make more sense to pray to win the lottery myself, but I don’t play the lottery so it seems kind of hollow.

I probably need to have a long talk with a Rabbi to figure out what I’m actually doing wrong, and what stuff is OK.  I figure I’ll do lots of stuff this year, and then talk to a Rabbi right before Yom Kippur next year.  That will give me just enough time to do exactly what I want but still weasel out of it before it’s too late.