Sometimes I have loose bits of odds and ends that don’t quite add up to a whole blog post, but are still interesting enough to share. Well, I think they are anyway. So I offer for your consideration a number of unrelated tales and observations.
- I suppose I need to issue a formal retraction, and apology, for accusing the cats of stealing our car key. Unless the cats stole it and deposited it in Dan’s pocket, where he found it, we apparently should not have rushed to judgment.
- One of my doctors recently asked me, apropos of nothing, if I thought Jamie Lee Curtis was a hermaphrodite. Discuss among yourselves.
- When did America become illiterate? Given current technology shouldn’t blatant spelling errors be obsolete? I guess you always have to account for the Dumb Human operating the technology. Seen on TV recently on a news crawl: “Persuant to an arrest warrent” I mean, just to type that to include it in this blog I have to change it back because auto-correct catches it!
- I was recently at a social event and met a nice young man who had all the potential in the world to be my latest gay boyfriend. Coincidentally, everywhere I went all evening I seemed to be behind him. He gave me that “Is she stalking me?” look, and I decided the best defense is a good offense, so I accused him of reverse stalking; anticipating where I was headed next and then getting there moments before me. Yep, reverse stalking. You have to admit it was a clever ploy; made him giggle and caught him off guard!
- I thought my family was so clever with our “She went to New York” euphemism for dying, but I saw RuPaul interviewed recently (obviously I’m a fan!) and when his mother passed away he referred to it as “She went to Paris.” Why would I go to NY when I could go to Paris? Just as I suspected, my family is trying to short change me!! At least now I know to have my passport with me at all times.
- A reporter of indeterminate age made note of all the “flash cubes” going off in the Olympic stadium. Uh, when’s the last time you bought a box of flash cubes? [NOTE: for readers under the age of 40, please ask your parents about this. Or your grandparents.]
Finally, just for fun: I came across this meme a while back, and given my twisted sense of humor I really love it. Enjoy!
Husband and I like to read headlines to each other. Off hand I can’t think of any good ones, but trust me, punctuation must no longer be taught in school.
One of my big bugaboos are the correctly spelled homophones, isle for aisle for example. Proofreading seems to be a forgotten skill.
While I am complaining, I also hate that decimate; to kill one in every ten of (a group of soldiers or others) as a punishment for the whole group. seems to be used to interchangeably with annihilate; to destroy utterly; obliterate.
Also am I the only person left who knows that penultimate means second to the last?
regards,
Theresa
What kills me is that now instead if correcting people they just adopt the new usage. Like how literal isn’t literal anymore…
I just pictured Sheldon Cooper saying, “Literally?” to Penny’s ex-boyfriend Zack….I am definitely a nerd.
You’re in good company!
I well enjoyed this!
So glad!
The eliteracy of Amerika craks me up. One of the funiest things I saw was grafiti that red “Bicth”. Kinda looses it’s punchh.
Exakly. Kids today kneed more edumacation.
Did you consider that one of the cats hid the car keys in Dan’s pocket?
Of course…and interrogations are underway. Shining a bright light in kitty’s eyes and asking the tough questions. Also looking at forensic evidence; claw sheaths left behind on pants? Whiskers scattered nearby?
If there was a chicken wing in his pocket too I don’t think it was the cats…. No self-respecting cat would leave a chicken wing behind!
On point Kate!
And since we’re vegetarian there are no chicken wings in the house, leading to the conclusion that they borrowed the car, bought contraband, and then returned the key.
Our family says “s/he’s up on the roof”…since we’re all from NY anyway. 😉
We quote a joke from the 1970’s show Maude,
“———- is on the roof and we can’t get ——— down”. We’re from NY too 🙂
Youse NYers, no imagination!