As I have probably made abundantly clear by now, I am somewhat of a sloth. Exercise? Not so much. But the fact is that a girl can only sit on her butt for so long before it’s time to get the old blood flowing. OK, well, this girl could probably sit around forever doing nothing, and never feel a real desire to exercise, but, well, it’s got to be done.
I think I have a number of viable options for a new routine. One thing I’m considering is a strict regimen of laughing my ass off. If I watch and read nothing but hilariously funny stuff, surely I will chuckle off the flab? Maybe the effect would be even greater if I was watching someone else exercise. Hence, one option for a new routine: Laughing at Richard Simmons Sweatin’ to the Oldies!
Of course, I could also approach this the same way I would a business problem, which leads me to one obvious conclusion: outsourcing. I will hire someone to exercise for me! Possibly someone offshore who won’t bother me with a lot of chatter when I’m trying to watch TV. In fact, as long as I’m outsourcing, I might as well hire them to eat right as well. That way, when my body atrophies they will have already been compensated to give me a full body transplant.
Another option might be simply buying larger clothes. How often did I hear my HR persona explaining to people that perception is reality? That being the case, I should be able to cut inches off my waist just by buying a new pair of jeans that are two sizes too large! I can also ask my doctor to switch the results of my physical with those of a 25 year old aerobics instructor.
Maybe I should look to the east for a more Zen approach. A new mantra…I am physically fit. My body is a temple. Deep cleansing breaths. Method acting? Be the fitness. Become the fitness. Visualize a physically fit body and soul. Embrace the freakin’ fitness.
I’m going to go watch Jane Fonda aerobics with a laugh track, as I become one with the fitness. I’ll let you know how it all works out. Hmm, “works out” sounds like exercise too…
Now get down and give me twenty! Get back up and give me fifty! Sit down and give me thirty! Now that you’ve given me a hundred that’ll teach you to not drop all the jelly beans on the floor!
Will exercise for candy! Make it chocolate instead of jelly beans, and I’ll really be on a roll!
You never fail to make me giggle! 🙂
I’m so glad! And now you know that giggling will help maintain your peak physical condition!
Losing lbs already ~ been watching I Love Lucy! Giggle Giggle ~ whooops just lost another 5 oz! HA HA If only it were that easy! 🙂
I guess I’m not supposed to eat chips while I watch Animal House…
It would probably not matter since you’re giggling right?
Ben Aaron from NBC had the same problem. He eventually found an exercise he liked – walk dancing. He documented his experience. I highly recommend the few minutes it takes to watch the video. But be warned, you might be tricked into doing some laughercise (exercise due to laughing). Here’s the link: http://www.superstarmagazine.com/this-guy-decided-to-dance-with-someone-on-the-street-what-happened-next-will-make-your-day/
Love this! Sadly, two drawbacks for me. 1) it involves actually moving and 2)it is outdoors…and I try to stay in a climate controlled state at all times. Still, probably adaptable for the indoors. Dance-Treadmilling?
Excellent idea! I think Jill should start walk dancing. And post videos of it. That way we could all benefit from it by laughing our %§& off and losing weight.
Why are you so mean to me? I already have two older brothers to pick on me, I don’t need someone else in the peanut gallery! You can make it up to me by immediately jetting over here and bringing me treats of some kind. Or even better, send K-H
You might be onto something here . . .
You can be my work-out buddy!
I like the way you think (and the way you don’t exercise). You have some viable options here. I like off shore outsourcing myself.
Maybe I’ll be a good influence on you. I read on your blog that you do routinely exercise, and it worries me. Hopefully I can serve as a role model for laziness and apathy. Just another service I provide.
Seriously I only exercise to justify the trip to Starbucks every morning.
Right. But clearly you make a habit of getting out of your pajamas, at least. Sigh. So many reasons I need a real job…
Hmmm….I wonder if I could exercise in my PJs. Probably could but if the drive-through is too long, I walk into Starbucks. That might be embarrassing in my PJs. Real jobs get in the way of fun jobs or maybe just plain fun.
Virtual exercise!! Jill, if you can find a way to do this you ca be a billionaire – can I be your agent??
I like it. And you can be my agent IF you can also still carry my bags on the book/fitness tour.
I’ll carry your bags anytime honey…count on it.
You are so versatile!