Follow the Rules

I’m old school when it comes to certain fashion rules.  For example, white should only be worn between Memorial Day and Labor Day.  It’s an important rule; think about the chaos that would ensue if everyone was just allowed to wear whatever they want.  It would tear at the very fabric of our society.  Plus I need a reason to roll my eyes at women wearing white shoes in the middle of September to let them know that I know that they should know that they are social pariahs.  And that happens to be one of my favorite activities.  So obviously, any rule that allows me to be smug and superior must be upheld.

I know everything there is to know about fashion because I’ve watched Project Runway since its inception.  I would tell you about it but that would be breaking the rule about the frequency of blog posts related to TV shows.  So forget Project Runway.  Forget I ever mentioned a show where a bunch of temperamental artistes compete in speed-designing.  It’s a lot like Craft Wars in that the contestants have crazy impossible challenges every week.  For example, take wrapping paper, aluminum foil and paper clips and create a red carpet look.  In 6 hours, with one hand tied behind your back, “randomly” paired with the competitor whom you most detest.  That’s one of those Tim Gunn “make it work” moments.  Sigh, if only I could tell you more about it, but hey, you guys make the rules.

I’d like a little more order in the unruly world of what is fashionable.  Remember that awesome kids clothing line, Garanimals?  You never had to worry about matching clothes because they were labeled by animal.  If you had a shirt with a giraffe tag, you sure as hell could not wear it with a skirt with an elephant tag.  They have the same thing for adults-they’re called suits.  I wear a lot of them because I’m a little giraffe v. elephant impaired.  And I would never, ever want to break the rules.