I know those of you with children are dreaming of the days when they head off to summer camp. But if you can’t send them to sleep away camp indefinitely, what will you do to pass the time? Courtesy of my eagle-eye friend Betsey, it looks like a new form of family fun is cropping up this summer: Drowning!
This sign inspired me to come up with my own family fun concepts:
For Ages 3-7:
- My Little Chemistry Disaster
- Let’s Go to Medical School: Starring Your Little Brother as the Cadaver!
- Crosswalks are for Sissies
- Where Does Daddy Keep His Gun?
For Ages 8-12:
- Setting Fires the Fun and Easy Way!
- Craft Projects: Broken Glass and Rusty Nails
- 50 Ways to Poke Someone’s Eye Out
- Making Friends on the Internet
- Advanced: Bet You I Know How to Shoot a Gun!
For Ages 13-17
- Sneaking out of the House: They’ll Never Know
- Unprotected Sex: Don’t Believe Everything They Say! (Recommended prerequisite: Sneaking out of the House)
- Finding Porn on the Internet
- Advanced Arson
- Smoking and Drinking: Why It Makes You Cool
Sessions are filling up quickly, so register now!
Hahahaha! This was totally warped and hysterical! Just don’t let any kids read this!
I think Totally Warped and Hysterical would be a good name for my next book…or a band…
These suggestions are terrific! To increase enrollment, maybe you can get a few celebrities to guest lecture. Justin Bieber could cover vandalism, Linsey Lohan could talk about substance abuse, and Miley Cyrus could cover (or in her case uncover) porn. That’s just the tip of the iceberg. I think you’re going to rich, rich, rich! Just make sure you have plenty of insurance.
OMG why didn’t I think of that! Your celebrity suggestions are a perfect fit! My lawyers are already working on the 300 page waiver parents will need to sign…
Thanks God I have cats! No family fun in this house!
Hmm, that might be my next project. Kitty Kamp!
Drowning Awareness Family Fun Night? Sounds like a hoot…”who wants to go in the pool first?”
Exactly! But first let’s put on your cinderblock shoes!!