And Thousands Cheered

I’m going to admit that I am not particularly religious, but I have now witnessed the power of prayer.  I know no one would specifically pray for me to get laryngitis, but surely many people have fervently prayed that I would shut my trap by any means necessary.  My Hebrew isn’t as bad as you think Temple Beth Shalom; I noticed when you slipped this prayer into the service.

Anyway, after all the planning and build-up for our annual conference, I was frustrated to lose my voice on the very first day.  So I went with my typical problem-solving technique…I ignored it.  Sure I sounded like Minnie Mouse, but many people found it endearing.  OK, OK, no one found it endearing, but I’m sure as hell incapable of shutting up, so I talked until my voice was down to a pathetic little squeak.  People kept saying “you poor thing” and “you should get some rest,” but I didn’t have a cold or anything, just laryngitis.

I guess the worst part is that Dan, who is more deserving of a break than anyone else, didn’t even get to enjoy it.  He’s bitter and I don’t blame him.  He keeps telling me he doesn’t believe I had laryngitis and asking me to show him how it happened, but I’m not going to fall for that one.

The bottom line is that in all likelihood this was my last ALA conference, and I had a lot to say before I left the legal community altogether.  But what was to have been my Swan Song turned into a duck honk…complete with rubber ducks.  It was an anticlimactic end to my career of 23 years.  Can everyone please take a break from your oh-so-busy lives and feel sorry for me?  Thanks, much better.

There is hope though.  Surely there is a group of writers whose conference will be just as exciting.  As with ALA, sooner or later I will be immersed in a new world.  Eventually I will get the lingo and the inside jokes, maybe join a committee or two.  It will be exactly the same while also completely different.

No worries; I’ll keep you posted so you don’t miss a thing.