My Life And Times: Awkward Moment #4,687

So many awkward moments in my life…so little time. I was recently getting a routine chest x-ray, and of course because I’m me it turned into a whole thing. First of all, the protocol at the hospital is to ask you to confirm your date of birth. When I did that, the very nice Chinese technician got very excited. He told me 1964 is an extremely lucky Chinese year, and I must be a very lucky and special person! You know, it’s hard to get enthusiastic about that when I’m in the basement of a hospital with an x-ray technician, but he was so sincere that I feigned excitement.

dragon

We spent some quality time together while he took lots of different shots, and then he told me what a good patient I am. Honestly, I get that a lot, because I’m an overachiever, always eager to impress. Then, in a complete lapse of protocol, he came over and asked if it would be OK if we prayed together. Again, in the spirit of going along to get along, I said sure. He took my hands in his and closed his eyes and presumably prayed while I contemplated what I was going to fix for dinner. Just as I had decided on carry-out, the answer to my prayers, he pronounced us done.

So I went tooling back out to the hallway and in a complete Twilight Zone moment ran smack into the former managing partner of one of my former firms. It took me a minute to realize who it was because it was so out of context, and, we were both wearing hospital gowns. He asked me how I was, and what I was doing there and I said I was probably there for the same reason he was. So we had a little laugh and then, well there’s no way around this…he hugged me. I mean in any other circumstance it would have been very sweet, but, umm, did I mention that we were both wearing hospital gowns?

Just then the technician came out to grab him, and he turned to him and said, “I hope you took good care of her; she’s a very nice person.” Which was also sweet, except I had just bonded with the technician who I guess now felt he knew me pretty well, so he said “Well of course she’s a very nice person! Don’t you think I know that?” And then he played the trump card: “She was born in a very lucky year.”

I took that as my opportunity to exit, stage left. “So good to see you! Both of you I mean! Great, great, great to see you both.”

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30 Responses to My Life And Times: Awkward Moment #4,687

  1. itsmeval says:

    When in those situations..just be glad your butt was not hanging out…or was it when you reached out for the hug..maybe he looked over your shoulder?

    • Jill Foer Hirsch says:

      In general I’m pretty sure my butt has its own zip code (!) so no telling what was going on back there!

  2. Marilyn says:

    Hello, Jill, I think you handled it all well. You never know where you will find an adventure that only you would fined.

    • Jill Foer Hirsch says:

      Thanks Marilyn! I do love a good adventure, and you’re right, you never know where you’ll find your next one!

  3. Abbe says:

    This is just awkward on so many different levels!

  4. If someone told me I had better pray after x-rays that would have freaked me out. I would have been like WTF???

    • Jill Foer Hirsch says:

      Yeah, I thought about it later but I wasn’t too worried. It just seemed like he felt we had bonded and praying was kind of his thing.

  5. Pam Waits says:

    You’re a much better person than me. If a technician asked me to pray with him I’d tell him we’d have to wait until I was properly dressed in my high priestess voodoo gown. I’d explain it was for his own protection because there are severe penalties for violating the dress code when contacting the Dark One. And the hug? I would have faked like I was going to vomit or started dancing to Blurred Lines – anything to avoid contact. Like I said, you’re a better person than me. Very funny post.

    • Jill Foer Hirsch says:

      I’m thinking breaking out in dance to Blurred Lines would have been significantly more embarrassing than the hug!

  6. Deb Reese says:

    It was the luck of the 1964 Chinese Dragon 🙂 Thanks again for the laugh Jill!

  7. Laurie says:

    Hilarious as usual….and I am now wondering if it was a managing partner that I also know. And what do you mean that Dan doesn’t eat dinner “as a rule”? WTH is that?

    • Jill Foer Hirsch says:

      Nope, it wasn’t Chuck (I don’t think he’s a hugger) or Tim (who would have hugged me!); different firm. Dan eats a big breakfast and lunch and usually just has yogurt or something for dinner. It helps him maintain his weight. Sigh. He is very disciplined…

  8. jjlhicks says:

    The thought of you contemplating what to “fix” for dinner was the funniest part of this post! Actually, it was all funny, but that was the funniest part of all!! 🙂

    • Jill Foer Hirsch says:

      For your information Ms. Smarty Pants, I happen to be a decent cook, and have even prepared meals for many other people who lived to tell about it. I try to fix dinner a few nights a week but as a rule Dan doesn’t eat dinner, so sometimes I just fix Cheerios and almond milk. But I get the bowl and spoon out and everything.

      • I saw a sign on pinterest that I want to make for our dining room.” Many have eaten here-few have died.” Am I bad because it cracks me up every time?

        While almost all the restaurants deliver,I miss real Chinese take out, the best that can be said about Chinese food in Yucatan is “it isn’t bad”…not exactly a ringing endorsement.

        We eat our main meal around 2 pm and then snack on left overs of some sort for dinner. However, we’re retired.

        regards,
        Theresa

        • Jill Foer Hirsch says:

          I love that sign! I think you should go for it! Hope you are feeling well…

          • I google translated it into Latin, so I could do a mock family crest. Multa hic comederunt, pauci mortui sunt. What do you think?
            I’m okay, just tired. I know understand your comment about being jealous of geriatric cats.
            regards,
            Theresa

          • Jill Foer Hirsch says:

            Ahh the Latin is even better! Get plenty of rest my friend, let your body heal at its own pace. Thinking of you…

      • jjlhicks says:

        OK, I just have a memory of your freezer being packed with diet frozen dinner meals and you telling me that the stove was “for looks”. In all fairness, that was at least 20 years ago, but it made quite an impression on me!

        • Jill Foer Hirsch says:

          Last night’s dinner: the soy “chicken” and the spinach both came from the freezer. The salad and potatoes did not. Frozen food is my friend.

  9. katecrimmins says:

    One more positive thought for you. For the past month, my WordPress reader dumped you. Yep, I had to retrieve your posts through emails. Today you are back on my reader! You must have been a very good girl! Perhaps you should play the lottery.

    • Jill Foer Hirsch says:

      WordPress loves me! It really loves me! I have stuff drop off my reader all the time, and my emails. It’s really quirky, but glad I kept you through email!

  10. katecrimmins says:

    Didn’t you get freaked out when he wanted to pray? I would have thought that I was dying very soon! Hugging a former manager with only one thin layer of clothes on would totally freak me out unless he was very hot. In that case it’s exit, supply closet!

    • Jill Foer Hirsch says:

      It did cross my mind that he had seen something horrible on the x-ray, but, he had just finished telling me how lucky I am! As to the hug, let’s just say both of us are past our prime and many parts are not where they’re supposed to be. So yuck.

  11. Wow ~ you sure are huggable! I love that he prayed for/with you! How awesome you are! ♥

  12. mimijk says:

    How to turn an x-ray into a social event — only you sweetie, only you.

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