My friend saw an old lady crossing the street with an infant in a stroller; a big truck was headed right for them, and she selflessly dashed out into the street and swept them both to safety. Incredible. In the course of her heroism she managed to break her foot. Actually, she might have just slipped on her stairs but I like my version of the story better.
At least she knows she can count on me to help nurse her back to health. I have a history as a totally competent caretaker. Sure, there were some slips here and there. When I was taking care of my mom after she had major surgery I put her in the car for the long ride to her doctor, assuring her I had her pain pills in hand, and then realized an hour away that they were still sitting on her kitchen table. Ooops?
A day or two later Lisa and I were sleeping in the room next to my mom but we were pretty zonked out. We told mom to call Lisa’s cell phone if she needed us in the middle of the night. Please understand I was very sleep deprived when the ringing phone woke me up, and I cursed Lisa for setting an alarm for the middle of the night, slammed the phone shut (yep, we still had flip phones back then), and went back to sleep.
Thanks mom, for being such a good sport even under those circumstances. I told you we’d laugh about it one day! And one day we will.
My friend didn’t know all this about me. She probably assumed I am perfectly capable of picking her up and taking her to the doctor. And I am perfectly capable, except for the fact that I put my purse and keys down in her house and could not for the life of me find them. Not anywhere, for like 15 minutes, or possibly 20, while the clock ticked away towards the time of her doctor’s appointment. No stress! At long last I found my purse and keys and we were on our way.
OK, so there was one tiny additional complication. The doctor’s office is next door to a hospital to which I’ve been admitted at least three times and visited dozens of times. Given this information, my friend wildly assumed I knew how to get there. And I kind of do, just not 100%. In my own defense, I was never the one who drove there, and I was frequently heavily sedated while I was coming and going. I was born geographically challenged and I don’t think it’s nice to make fun of me.
You might say, hey, there’s a girl who could use a GPS! But you would be wrong. A GPS would probably just further confuse the situation. I have a knack for taking something simple and making it complicated. Just ask my friend.