What The World Needs Now: Another Semi-Amusing Blog

People frequently ask me why I blog. [Not a single person has ever asked me that but it’s important to the set-up here, so go with it, OK?] There are many reasons, but the most compelling is that I blog because my mom makes me.

Yes, I’m 51 years old and capable of making my own decisions. But my mom is capable of nagging me nonstop, and according to my mom, the entire world loves my blog. It’s just easier not to argue.

Mom: You know, absolutely everyone is telling me how thrilled they are that you’re blogging again.

Me: Who is everyone?

Mom: Everyone! All my friends, all of their friends, the entire state of Florida and obviously everyone living on any of the Delmarva beaches. Obviously. Plus, your cousins in Wyoming.

Me: We don’t have any cousins in Wyoming. We’re Jewish.

Mom: But if we did have cousins in Wyoming, I guarantee they would be reading your blog, and loving it. Just like everyone else does.

Me: Mom, you’re getting a little carried away.

Mom: I’m not saying this because of me! I’m telling you, people stop me in the street to tell me how much they enjoy your blog, and how talented you are, and I let them all know you’re working on your second book.

Me: Mom! I’m not working on a second book. There is no second book. No book is forthcoming.

Mom: Well you say that now honey, but I feel like there is another book in you, and it’s going to come out.

Me: That makes it sound like I have a stomach ache and whether I like it or not I’m going to have to puke.

Mom: Can you hold on? Someone is coming in on call-wait.

Me:

Mom: That was your cousin in Idaho. She was calling to tell me she loves your blog and was also asking when your second book is coming out. I told her it should be out by the end of the year.

Me: Mom! We don’t have any cousins in Idaho. We’re Jewish! Besides, no one lives in Idaho. It’s a myth. And there is no second book!

Mom: Listen honey, I’m going to let you go because I know you’re working on your blog and your next book.

Me: Are you &%$#^&&@ kidding me?

Anyway, for the millions and millions of you reading my blog (insert massive eye roll here), thank you. To my imaginary cousins everywhere, there is no second book. And to my mom, I love you, and if it’s that important to you that I write another book…I’m still not doing it!

I’m doomed.

P.S. To the many Jewish people who no doubt live in Wyoming and Idaho (if those two places truly exist), my apologies. This is comedy folks. Go with it.

blogmom

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20 Responses to What The World Needs Now: Another Semi-Amusing Blog

  1. Pam Waits says:

    I’m glad you’re blogging again and we aren’t even related. Also, I heard they’re planning to make a movie based on your second book!

    • Jill Foer Hirsch says:

      I don’t know how, but somehow my mom has gotten to you too. Telepathically perhaps. Good news, at least we know who will be starring in the movie!

  2. Lesley Washington says:

    Just so I go by April in your next book…. I’ve always wanted to be named April and now you can make that dream come true in your next book!!

  3. AB says:

    There was a first book?

  4. I guess I had better put a link on my blog to your book on Amazon since it sounds like there is a big demand, it would be nice to actually get some money from my Amazon associate account.

    When it’s my turn at the book club, I’m going to pick it as our book. So don’t forget to put discussion questions at the end.

    I asked my neighbor and she said, “Me encanta el blog de mi prima, Jill Foer Hirsch.” except she calls you “Yil Fo ouer Er che”

  5. I just spent weeks in Florida with your Mother. It’s all true what she said—she had me go to Barnes and Noble and put my name on the list to notify me immediately when your new book comes out.

  6. Carol Ferenc says:

    My second cousins in Nebraska are raving about your blog!
    Mom knows best ~ bless her heart!

  7. Harriet Schneider says:

    You know I’ve found cousins we never knew about and they as well as everyone else are thrilled with your blog. Everyone is excited about your second book and don’t forget to start working on your one woman show!

  8. I’ve pre-ordered your new book from Amazon!

  9. Lisa Bowie says:

    I’ve told EVERYONE about your next book in progress. I will be coming over for more signed copies.

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