Thinking Outside The Box. Way Outside.

I hope everyone enjoyed a lovely holiday, or like me, at least just a quiet day with nothing to watch on TV. Hmm, OK, it wasn’t all that great for me, but, you know.

One thing I love about this time of year is the opportunity to catch up with friends I haven’t seen in a while. I enjoy hearing what they’re up to, but as a bonus, if there’s anything better than stories about my own crazy family, it’s stories of someone else’s crazy family. Last week I visited with a long-time friend (notice I did not say old friend!) who was in town visiting for the holidays. I inquired about her parents and heard that her dad had become, in his more senior years, well, crazy. I thought she must be exaggerating, but praying for my sake that she wasn’t being dramatic, so I asked her for examples. After all, I need a steady influx of blog material. My friend did not disappoint! However, it turns out that her dad’s not crazy at all, he’s just an innovative problem solver! I promise you all of this is 110% true:

  • When my friend borrowed her dad’s car, the dashboard was completely dark. No lights at all. When she inquired it turns out that her dad doesn’t like when the various warning lights flash…so he took the light bulbs out. Prior to that when the Check Engine light kept coming on, he put black electrical tape over it so he wouldn’t have to see it. Problem solved!
  • He is clean and sober now. No more drinking for him.  He’s sticking with beer from here on out. Problem solved!

homerduffbeer

  • When my friend mentioned that she really wants to quit smoking, he asked her if she liked smoking. She said that she did. His response? Why quit then? Problem solved!
  • He misses his beloved dog who died and wants to get another. The problem is that he is rather heavy set and doesn’t walk very well, and he wants a huge dog. My friend pointed out that a big dog needs plenty of exercise and it would be tough for her dad to walk it properly. Well, the joke was on her, because he already had that figured out. As he explained, he would simply tie the dog to the back of his car and drive super slow, super carefully. Problem solved!

Other Peoples’ Crazy Ass Families. It just doesn’t get any better.

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16 Responses to Thinking Outside The Box. Way Outside.

  1. Lisa says:

    Gotta love our families… And hope for their safety.

  2. The Regular Guy NYC says:

    Sounds logical to me! On all points. If it works for him it must be ok. Especially the beer and drinking one.

  3. Pam Waits says:

    Although I don’t agree with his conclusions, his logic is oddly sound…

    • Jill Foer Hirsch says:

      I know, that’s kind of the scary part. Who knew that if you couldn’t see the “check engine” light then the engine is fine…

  4. val says:

    I would love to write about my crazy family. Probably not a smart move while they can still read!

  5. Oh, dear makes my dearly departed grandma’s dementia seem perfectly harmless. We once spent the day waiting for the train to take us into La Habana. Of course, it never did arrive since we were in my parent’s house in Northern California. She also wouldn’t let me leave because the communists had set up road blocks down the street.

    I had the same Christmas as you, just stayed home and enjoyed the empty city.

    regards,
    Theresa

  6. mimijk says:

    Ok, you win the contest for most interesting friends… 😉

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