Summer Lovin’

I don’t think I told you guys yet, but my niece Aubrey is getting married! We are thrilled that she has chosen an awesome groom with a bonus, his son, who happens to be the sweetest little boy ever. I am thrilled about another thing too; being a smart young woman, Aubrey has also chosen a fall wedding date. I myself chose a fall wedding date because that is the best season for my hair. Some people have spirit animals…I have a hair season. I also happen to think it’s the prettiest time of the year.

Some people really love spring. Many people. Not me though. Because spring means one thing: summer is coming. Sticky, icky, hot sweaty summer. Yuck. Summer is definitely not my hair season. And I’m not saying everything revolves around my hair, I’m just saying; OK I guess that is exactly what I’m saying. So, fall.

Dog days of summer are never this cute

Dog days of summer are never this cute

My sister-in-law Lisa just found a dress for the wedding. Actually she found two dresses. She’s contemplating keeping both of them and holding one in reserve for when one of my nephews gets married. I pointed out that the dress is for a formal, evening wedding. What if Craig or Sean end up having a wedding that’s…OMG. That’s when it hit me. At any point in time one of the boys could decide to have a wedding outside, in the summer. I mean, Aubrey has made an excellent choice but we are nowhere near out of the woods yet here people.

CJ and Lisa did exactly that, like 30 years ago, and I’m still pouting about it. They got married in the middle of the day, at the end of July, outside. It really doesn’t get any worse than that. I know that day wasn’t about me, specifically, but the fact is my hair was the size of a watermelon. It was a full on Hair Situation. My make-up was melting off my face. I was sweating in places I didn’t know one could sweat. I could barely focus on welcoming Lisa into the family as I was sitting there wondering what kind of horrific woman does this to people she supposedly loves?

Ugh

Ugh

My wish for Craig and Sean is this: I hope you fall in love. I hope you each find the woman of your dreams, and seal the deal by marrying her. But under no circumstances should this woman have a hankering for an outdoor wedding, in the summer. If she does, she can’t possibly be right for you. Because I have hair to think about, and your mother has a dress ready to go, for a formal evening wedding.

So boys, fall in love with a sensible girl who knows the right way to get married. Someone who isn’t going to yammer on about flowers being in bloom and wearing daisies in her hair and all that crap. We’re counting on you.

Just don't. Don't do it.

Just don’t. Don’t do it.

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12 Responses to Summer Lovin’

  1. Carol Ferenc says:

    I feel your humidity-versus-hair pain, Jill. Now I’ve mastered the art of the flat iron and that helps a lot. My own wedding was outdoors on a perfect mid-September day. I was luckier than my nephew who got married outdoors on a mid-September day (at the same latitude) and it was 103 degrees. Yuk!

    • Jill Foer Hirsch says:

      I have a flat iron but not coordinated enough to use it! And if it’s really humid, it’s a mess again the minute I walk out the door. BUT! I now get salon treatments 3 or 4 times a year, no chemicals. Kerastase Discipline smoothing treatment. It doesn’t take out the curl, but makes it so I can blow dry it straight and it will hold for a few days. You need to use the home follow up products; shampoo, conditioner and styling spray but it is well worth it. I love it!

  2. Betsey says:

    I pray that my son and his future bride decide to forgo the whole wedding thing and take the money that would have been spent on a wedding and put it towards a house. Bonus: I don’t have to spend a year looking for a dress.

  3. Pam Waits says:

    You’ve made yourself perfectly clear – the rest is up to your nephews. I’m confident they’re reading this because I’m sure your mom made them subscribe. Just to be on the safe side, when they get engaged, give them a copy of this blog so they can explain the rules to their fiancé. (BTW – I got married the end of October so I’m also down with a fall wedding.)

  4. I married my son’s father in July, which is usually quite nice in Northern California. We got married in a lovely park with shade and a gazebo. Fortunately, it isn’t really humid in the summer. Unfortunately,It was the hottest that day had been in fifty years! One of my punch bowls cracked, my cake started to melt. Makes for great stories.

    Fall would have been better.

    • Jill Foer Hirsch says:

      I definitely wouldn’t have expected that in Northern California! Weather always seems perfect up there (well, perfect for me). I guess I should have taken regional variations into account, but, as you said you never know when you will get that off day. At least your guests had shade and a gazebo!

  5. I love, love, love summer but….a dear friend (former) got married on the hottest 4th of July ever in a Rose Garden (yep that’s outside) with not a stitch of shade. You can’t hide under a rose bush. It wasn’t a short and tank top affair. Even though I had a nice sundress kind of thing (with heels of course), I sweat like a….well…you get the picture. It’s the first time I realized that I sweat as much under my boobs as under my arms! My makeup slide off in sheets. I had mascara on my chin. I never did forgive him. I mean….who does that? Indoors or under heavy shade with fans!

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