One Cool Cat

I realize with dismay that it has been waaaay too long since I blogged about my kitties. I apologize; I know that most of you are waiting with baited breath to hear about every adorable little move they make.

Cute as our furry beasties are, the fact is our standards are slipping all to hell. First let me state that my home is very clean. Nearly immaculate…well it was one time back in 1999 for about 16 minutes…but I digress. When we first brought home our four little rescue kitties in August 2011, we were determined to right the wrongs of kitties past. Dan and I agreed that every time one of the cats got on a table or counter we would pick them up and put them right back down on the floor. In theory, sooner or later they would be “trained.” Yep-a-rooni.

So, that lasted about two weeks. We were diligent, but admittedly outnumbered, so it wasn’t all that easy. Then one day I came into the kitchen and Chrissy was lounging about on the kitchen table while Dan ate breakfast. When I interrogated him he said it was just too much trouble to keep throwing them off every single time they got up, so as long as Chrissy wasn’t trying to get to his food it was OK. So much for standards, we were on a slippery slope into oblivion.

Who, me? I was sleeping the whole time

Who, me? I was sleeping the whole time

Then there’s the problem with Janet. She validates the expression “curiosity killed the cat.” Let’s say, for example, that I open the refrigerator to, I don’t know, pull out some food or a beverage. Janet immediately takes that opportunity to try and wedge herself into the fridge. Ditto when I open the freezer. Not only is this not hygienic, it is downright scary, so Dan and I are now in the habit of double checking the fridge and freezer anytime we close them.

Don't mind me, just grabbing a glass of milk...

Don’t mind me, just grabbing a glass of milk…

But until recently we at least had some illusion of standards. I’m not clear on what they were, but I recognized the loss of them when I noticed Jack was sniffing our leftover dinner on the stove. Dan was standing right there! So I noted that perhaps he could, you know, move Jack along. And my husband looked me straight in the eye and said “Well, he’s just sniffing. It’s not like he licked anything or waved his tail over it.” And he was dead serious.

Who, me? No, I'm not standing on the kitchen counter! It's all an illusion...

No, I’m not standing on the kitchen counter! It’s all an illusion…

For any of you who might be invited to my home to partake in food and/or beverage, please know that things like this never, ever happen when we are having company. Nope, the cats respect those boundaries completely. So no worries…and I’ll be right back as soon as I double check the fridge…

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24 Responses to One Cool Cat

  1. I’ll never tell if you don’t! 🙂 Do any of yours love ribbons? Our little girl can smell a ribbon a mile away and eats them! So no more ribbons in our home. 🙁

    • Jill Foer Hirsch says:

      Mine all love ribbons and string so we’re super careful not to keep them out anywhere. It’s funny though, they each have their own favorite toys. Jack loves balls, Janet loves her weasel, Chrissy lives for fuzzy mice, and Helen favors a catnip scented red hot chili pepper. Go figure!

  2. The Regular Guy NYC says:

    My family and friends have puddy tats so I would have no problem playing with them if ever over for dinner.

  3. LOL..when we started feeding Taffy.We fed her and had her fixed and planned (key word there planned) on finding her a forever home. She had other ideas. We agreed that we weren’t letting her into the house due to allergies. Then because some other other cats in the neighborhood were eating her food, we started feeding her in the laundry room. Now she comes into the den to eat (there is a door to the outside via the laundry and one into the den).

    Now she wants access to the rest of the house. When she was a kitten she snuck into the kitchen somehow (this was even before we were feeding her!) and I found her sitting inside a frying pan on the stove! Fortunately the stove was off and I’m pretty sure the pan was empty before she go into it!

    Husband keeps asking me,”Are you sure she’s a cat? All she wants to do is be with us in the same room.”..She bangs on the screen to be let in or out, if she is in the den and we’re in the next room she stands at the screen and looks at us(it’s an old colonial house and we have interior and exterior screen doors) or if she is outside she looks in that door.

    I have decided that God listens to me say things like,”I would never put my child on a leash”, (had to with my son, my daughters hung on to me, he ran like hell.) and other statements like we are not getting anymore pets for a few years and just ROTHFL with glee..


  4. Pam Waits says:

    In spite of all our complaints, pets make life so much better. Before we brought home our first dog, we agreed that he wouldn’t change our lives. Famous last words…

  5. bethteliho says:


  6. Lisa says:

    Can’t wait for chanukah!

  7. katecrimmins says:

    I am not sure that your cat house is different from any other one. When we got our newest last spring, things were going to be different. They are. Now we have 4 cats that sleep on the dining room table and cruise counters for rodents (of course we never had a rodent in the house. Poor thing wouldn’t survive 5 minutes!)

    • Jill Foer Hirsch says:

      I’m not sure my delicate little furballs would know what to do with a rodent if they found one. It’s all they can do to focus long enough to kill insects in the summer. Of course, there are the imaginary bugs that are really just nail pops or a spot on the wall–they will stare at those for hours and get themselves all agitated. Meanwhile some giant nasty beetle walks right by them. It’s a darn good thing they’re so cute!

      • katecrimmins says:

        OMG! You have to teach your cats how to work! They can’t just let a perfectly good beetle get away. I’ll send Morgan down to train. She’s a bit neurotic but what cat isn’t?

        • Jill Foer Hirsch says:

          They think WORK is a four letter word. Sigh. But maybe Morgan the one-eyed hunter cat could shame them into moving a paw or two and catching some of the nasty bugs that march in during the summer. Let me know when to meet Morgan at the train station…and what he’s wearing, so I don’t miss him. 🙂

  8. mimijk says:

    I’ll never tell…

  9. Ann says:

    My cats get on the kitchen counter/table too, but they know not to do it when I’m watching. And they haven’t yet figured out that eating people food is an option. Sssshhhh!

    • Jill Foer Hirsch says:

      Well at least they have the decency to be a little ashamed! People food is where we actually do draw the line. We want them to be healthy and live a good long life, so they only get cat food. Wouldn’t want them to eat the crap Dan and I put in our bodies!

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