Is The Vortex Too Polar?

Apparently, yes. The annual Polar Bear Plunge into the Chesapeake Bay was canceled last weekend because…wait for it…it was too cold. Too frackin’ cold for a Polar Bear Plunge. It’s unfortunate that the real Polar Bears are swimming around looking for ice floes because way way up north has been warming for years, but meanwhile the shores of the Chesapeake Bay are too frigid. My idea of bringing the Polar Bears down here has been shot down as impractical. But you have to admit it would be pretty amazing if we could just ship them down here.


What I also find interesting about this Polar Vortex record-breaking cold winter is that we are apparently rather fragile animals. So the Doomsday Preppers, the people with a 3 year supply of water and dehydrated food, assault weapons, gas masks, and massive amounts of anti-chemical warfare stuff; did they remember to put away some thermal underwear? Parkas? Hand warmers? What about the Holy Trinity of Weather: bread, milk and toilet paper?

For all we know, Doomsday is coming but we will be so preoccupied with The Weather we will miss it! I mean, even on a slow news day it’s difficult for the talking heads to talk about anything but The Weather. Talking about the weather used to be a small talk cliché; “is it cold enough for you?” Now, we’re all riveted to The Polar Vortex Weather Desk 24/7 and trying to grasp the enormity of this Dangerous Weather.

Meteorologists have waited their whole lives for this; their big moment. This will surely be the case study future generations of meteorologists will obsess over. To them, I say congratulations! To everyone else; is it cold enough for you?

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18 Responses to Is The Vortex Too Polar?

  1. The Regular Guy NYC says:

    Now this a-hole Polar Vortex is about to dump another snowstorm onto us tomorrow. That’s it – I’m moving to the Sun!

    • Jill Foer Hirsch says:

      I know I am seriously in the minority, but I love winter. I like cold weather…I’m good with snow and I don’t get cabin fever. I get cranky in August when it’s 110 in the shade with 95% humidity for the 100th day in a row. What can I say?

  2. Meg Evans says:

    Brr, yes it has been quite cold enough (I’m in Vandalia, Ohio). This year I’ve made a resolution to visit and comment on a positive blog every day, which has improved my mindset generally and is helping to keep me in a good mood despite the dreary weather. Thanks for contributing your good cheer, Jill — I’m enjoying your site!

    • Jill Foer Hirsch says:

      What a great idea!! I love it! Thanks so much for stopping by and taking a moment to comment. I hope to have you snorting hot coffee through your nose at least once or twice a week. I mean, if that’s your thing and all. Yay!

  3. You don’t want to know what qualifies as cold in Merida….actually the newspaper said that the cold weather should be over now. Today was a low of 66F and a high of 94F which means it was about 50 inside my house when I woke up at 6am and it’s around 70 right now (it’s 8:30 pm).No one I know has a heater, actually we don’t have a/c either but that is by choice.

    Our weather has totally changed in the last couple of years. The winters are warmer, the rainy season has been late in coming and the high humidity seems to be all year round rather than just in the spring. So it seems no one has good weather anymore.

    I also vote to relocate the polar bears, though I think they make grizzlies seem like friendly puppies.


    • Jill Foer Hirsch says:

      I think I need to come down there and visit and discuss this with you in person! Maybe not with the no a/c thing; I hate hot weather more than cold weather. Good to hear from you and I hope you are doing well–looking for another news bulletin soon? XOXOXO

      • LOL, you should come visit, it’s such a great city. We have a spare room and a great air bed. Or you can sleep in a hammock which is cooler. Most snowbirds come around October and leave in February or March. February is Carnaval, we have the 3rd largest in Mexico, though this year they are changing the venue from downtown to out to the state fairgrounds, I have no idea how that will change stuff.

        The worse months due to the humidity have traditionally been April and May but the last two years those have been great temperature wise. Normally the weather is great starting in July, we have afternoon rains to cool everything off, but the last two years we have had the spring humidity instead.

        Our house is old (built around 1890) and we have the roof painted with this stuff that lowers the interior temp by 5 degrees C so it’s not bad inside. In fact in winter we go outside to warm up. We also have a pool and dip into a few times a day when it’s warm. I hate being cold, it’s because of having low blood pressure I think.

        I had chemo yesterday so I am due to write a newsletter today.


  4. Pam Waits says:

    I’ll tell you how cold it is. I’d like to “Like” this post, but my “Like” button isn’t working. It’s so cold, it can’t load. As I say this time every year: Why do I live in the Chicago area? There’s no good answer…

  5. katecrimmins says:

    You know it’s so hard not to keep blogging about it. Everyone in the US and Canada is. I think of our friends in the southern hemisphere enjoying a lovely summer or those folks who live in areas not ever affected by frost. Are we boring them? I doesn’t matter. I can’t think of anything but the damn cold. Is it cold enough for ya?

  6. bethteliho says:

    I wonder what the doomsdayers are doing about this? I bet you’re right – the holy trinity! (and yes, to answer your question, it is plenty cold for me!)

  7. mimijk says:

    I walked into my neighborhood Starbucks the other day and said “I just don’t think it’s cold enough” (they know me there). It just seemed like the thing to say – since it does seem that the preferred conversation these days has to do with these frigid temps. I like the idea of bringing the polar bears down for a little getaway – I think they deserve a break too..

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