Apparently, yes. The annual Polar Bear Plunge into the Chesapeake Bay was canceled last weekend because…wait for it…it was too cold. Too frackin’ cold for a Polar Bear Plunge. It’s unfortunate that the real Polar Bears are swimming around looking for ice floes because way way up north has been warming for years, but meanwhile the shores of the Chesapeake Bay are too frigid. My idea of bringing the Polar Bears down here has been shot down as impractical. But you have to admit it would be pretty amazing if we could just ship them down here.
What I also find interesting about this Polar Vortex record-breaking cold winter is that we are apparently rather fragile animals. So the Doomsday Preppers, the people with a 3 year supply of water and dehydrated food, assault weapons, gas masks, and massive amounts of anti-chemical warfare stuff; did they remember to put away some thermal underwear? Parkas? Hand warmers? What about the Holy Trinity of Weather: bread, milk and toilet paper?
For all we know, Doomsday is coming but we will be so preoccupied with The Weather we will miss it! I mean, even on a slow news day it’s difficult for the talking heads to talk about anything but The Weather. Talking about the weather used to be a small talk cliché; “is it cold enough for you?” Now, we’re all riveted to The Polar Vortex Weather Desk 24/7 and trying to grasp the enormity of this Dangerous Weather.
Meteorologists have waited their whole lives for this; their big moment. This will surely be the case study future generations of meteorologists will obsess over. To them, I say congratulations! To everyone else; is it cold enough for you?