In my extensive summer schedule research, I’ve uncovered another train wreck of a reality show. WeTV proudly presents Pregnant and Dating, check it out. Folks, this is why I don’t have to make stuff up to blog about. I’ve seen some statistics (reliable figures from the interweb) that up to 50% of all pregnancies in the US are “unplanned.” I sort of get that I guess. I definitely understand single, pregnant women. Dan Quayle be damned, Murphy Brown did it. What I don’t get is the Dating part of Pregnant and Dating.
I know I’m on dangerous ground here, having never been pregnant myself. But I’ve known lots and lots and lots of pregnant women, and as far as I can tell their focus is on that book, What to Expect When You Don’t Know What to Expect, trying not to throw up at work, breathing the right way during delivery and yelling at their husbands/partners for not painting the nursery the right color. There’s a world of difference between Lemon Yellow and Lemonade Yellow-take it from me. And Butter Yellow isn’t even in the same color refrigerator. Also, moms have to pick out all the stuff their babies need as I blogged about here, so they are a little busy to work in dating.
The women on the show go through all the usual mating rituals; hair, make-up, a new outfit. Again, honestly, I’ve never known a pregnant woman to say “I can’t wait to find a beautiful new maternity outfit for that special occasion.” Some of the women who are just 4 or 5 months along don’t even tell their dates that they’re pregnant, at least not right away. In all fairness, I think that’s a lot to spring on someone when you’re just getting to know each other. The women face challenges like filling out their online dating profile—should they check yes on the “do you have children?” question? There doesn’t seem to be an “are you currently pregnant?” option, but maybe this show will inspire one.
So there’s all that, and then sooner or later after a pregnancy a baby is going to turn up. Again, I’ve never had one myself, but all those pregnant women I knew ended up with babies too, and I would say that they stayed pretty busy just with baby type stuff like feeding, changing, sleeping. And that’s just the baby-the parents hardly ever get to eat, change or sleep. Showers seem to be but a fond memory. To the casual observer it’s a full contact sport. So with a few annoying exceptions, most new moms (and dads) I’ve visited have been wearing t-shirts covered in baby spit and sweatpants covered in baby spit and then everything covered with whatever other stuff comes out of babies all the time. They also tend to be exhausted and I’ve even seen one or two fall asleep while standing up. Or my very favorite, from an adorable new dad “the thing is, without sleep, we’re both just sort of dim-witted. We can’t whatchamacallit.” “Think?” “Yeah, that.”
What I’ve never, ever seen is a new mom getting gussied up for that critical 3rd date. Dabbing a little eau d’baby spit behind her ears. It ends up there, but I don’t think they do it on purpose. Plus, if the mom is going to go out she’s going to have to convince someone to hang out and get spit up on by her baby while she’s out at that new French restaurant. It’s a long shot. The show hasn’t progressed to the baby part yet, but (spoiler alert!) it’s gotta happen sooner or later.
All of this is to say that you have to watch this thing. How can you not watch it? If you don’t believe me, then check out the rave reviews. According to one review that flashes across the screen during a promo for the show “it really highlights the stress of being pregnant and single.”