I Saw Something Blanking Santa Claus

I feel the need to discuss a very serious issue plaguing our country:  Kitty Porn.  I try not to judge but personally I think it’s disgusting.  I know there are people out there who enjoy looking at pictures of innocent cats and even kittens au naturel, giving a look that says “come hither.”  I’ve even seen cross-species cat/dog type situations.

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Heck, I’ve even posted pictures of my cats “cuddling” and “grooming each other.”  I’m not proud of it, I can tell you that.

At Washington Animal Rescue League, the volunteers name all the animals when they come through the door.  We didn’t bring home Janet, Chrissy and Jack, we brought home Vibba, Giggles and Cloud.  Those are porn names for sure.  The kittens even looked a little ashamed of their name tags.  They don’t like to talk about their past lives, but I personally believe there’s some history there, if you know what I mean.  Helen was named Terrapin originally, and I think she kept her nose, or whatever, clean in the past.

I didn’t even know about animal porn until it was introduced to me years and years ago by CJ and Lisa.  Dan and I went up to their guest room to go to bed, and right before our eyes were stuffed animals placed in compromising positions all over the bed.  We laughed it off, but it was disconcerting.  I mean, the stuffed animals belonged to their small children.

The holidays, a time that should be filled with innocence and clean thoughts, and we are once again visiting CJ and Lisa.  As we drive into their neighborhood, we notice that some of the decorative lawn deer are placed in, well, interesting poses.  And OMG, what is Donner doing to Blitzen?  Is that Santa with a hot little elf?  And what in the world was Mrs. Claus doing??  We couldn’t believe our eyes.  Apparently everyone in the neighborhood was running around at all hours of the night helping each other “decorate” for the holidays.  Lock up your deer folks; it’s a free for all!

We may have been laughing till our stomachs hurt on the outside, but inside we were feeling cheap and dirty.  And after our 4th or 5th tour of the neighborhood, we immediately stopped looking at the poor creatures.

Animal porn has no shame; people are unapologetically wearing sweaters that objectify innocent animals.

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In this season of warm feelings and heart-felt wishes, I only hope that everyone keeps their paws to themselves.

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2 Responses to I Saw Something Blanking Santa Claus

  1. Cousin Dan says:

    Are those reindeer gay dear? Or just European? Please consult your gay deer gaydar.

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