This Best Western thing has taken a turn for the worse, because now they think I want to continue to stay in their, umm, lodgings. They make it sound like I’m some kind of longstanding customer! They have my address and my credit card number so I will be stalked for the rest of my life.
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It’s not just the stalking that frightens me; now I have a skeleton in the closet. When I become really famous Oprah Winfrey is going to ask me what my life was like before my blockbuster book hit the shelves. Oprah is pretty hip to the whole “born a poor black child” story; I’d go with a demure statement about our upper middle class life, traveling and whatnot. And then Oprah would whip out a copy of the Best Western bill and ask me to identify it, and just like that, the jig is up. I try to explain, accept a follow up interview with Katie Couric, but all in vain. Done, washed up, has been.
Surely Dan can now see why I need to stay at Four Seasons and Ritz-Carltons going forward. Off to get some rest now. Honestly, this whole thing has been very traumatic.